I’m often asked what is the difference between coaching and therapy and my seemingly-glib answer is therapy is one question longer. The extra question is one of the many versions of “instead”. A client coming for therapy when asked “What are your best hopes from our talking?” will often respond by stating the problem that has brought them along. As we are interested in what the client hopes to achieve rather than resolve we need to know what they would like instead of the problem. Coaching has always been outcome oriented so the client’s first answer is more likely to specify a hoped-for outcome so the instead question isn’t necessary. This is a bit of a long way round to say there is no difference between coaching and therapy when it comes to a Solution Focused approach. Unfortunately, it is very hard to get this message across and sometimes the client is the loser.
Evan, Harvey and I wrote two books a while ago, one on Solution Focused coaching and one on therapy. They are written in different styles but the methods are identical and it would be hard to distinguish between a transcript which is the coaching client wanting to change careers and one which is the therapy client diagnosed with severe and chronic depression. The message here is more for coaches than therapists since it is more likely that a ‘coaching’ issue will become a ‘therapy’ issue rather than the other way round. When this happens most coaches will pull back and advise the client to see a therapist rather than stay with them and try to be of use. Typically, an issue might be of recurrent nightmares, following work related events or feelings of depression and not wanting to go to work. Were these the presenting symptoms choosing a therapist rather than a coach would make sense but they are more likely to come to light after a successful coaching process has got underway when ‘dropping’ the client is likely to be unhelpful. It doesn’t take some special super-skill to ask the client what they hope might replace the nightmares, depression or whatever unpleasantness has invaded their life and doing so doesn’t prevent a discussion between coach and client about whether a therapist might be better placed to be helpful.
One of the best things we can do when we are with someone in trouble is to stay with them and even better is to offer them a hand which in some cases will hold them steady until other help arrives and in many cases will be all they need to see them through the trouble.
Chris Iveson
London
19th May 2024
